It’s the little things that really make a difference. You want to be the kind of parent who takes the time to instill in your child good manners, habits and behavior. But how? And with controlled chaos ruling the day, every day, when? Relax: good parenting happens in real time, on the spot, and in the moment. The trick is recognizing those moments when your actions and reactions can help your child learn and grow in the best possible ways.
Here is help from top parenting expert’s
Be careful of comparisons—and Labels
Your best friend’s 8-month-old son is babbling, while your daughter, at 9 months, is silent by comparison. Is there something wrong with your child? While it’s never a bad idea to express your concerns to your pediatrician, don’t equate developmental milestones with developmental deadlines. “Babies develop so rapidly that one set of abilities is bound to develop faster than another,” says Harvey Karp, MD, author of the Happiest Toddler on the Block (Bantam).
“Look at your whole baby” when evaluating developmental, he suggest, a stragegy that holds true for toddlers too: one 3-year-old may have fine-motor-control skills, handling a cryon with dexterity, for instance, while another may throw a ball better—and that’s normal. Taking into account the whole little person means factoring in temperament too. it’s important to consider who your child is, not just his age. For instance,if your child is naturally shy and quiet, it may be that he’s inclined to talk—not that he can’t, “Dr. Karp Says” “Listen to him at play when he is alone. He may babble happily then. “Among siblings, comparisons can lead to labels.
Walk the Talk
Kids watch every move, and, especially for babies and very young children, parental behavior proves to be far more powerful than words. “You are actually teaching your baby something every minute of the day—whether you intend to pass along a lesson or not,” says Elizabeth Pantley, “from how you handle stress to how you celebrate success to how you greet a neighbor on the street, your baby is observing you and finding out how to respond in various situation”
Let Your Child Make Mistake
Your 2-year-old is building a tower, and you see that the block he’s is about to place on top will cause it to come crashing down. Anxious to avoid the crash (and ensuing in tears), you stop him from adding the block, explaining that sometimes “one, ore is one too many” while you’re right to prevent accidents that could cause harm, allowing your child to learn from errors instills the lesson at hand better than an explanation ever could, says Christopher Lucas an associate professor of child and adolescent psychiatry at the New York University School of Medicine New York City. At a very basic level, this kind of mistake helps a child understand cause and effect. But it’s also emotionally healthy to let your child experience disappointment sometimes- especially in the form of the toppled block tower-instead of shielding him from any and all negative events. Dr. Lucas says there’s good reason for this: “children learn best on edge of failure—that’s where the challenge is and where there’s where the challenge is and where there’s the most opportunity for growth.