Before we talk about topics that can start an argument in Taraba, the following incidence will throw more light to why unnecessary arguments need to stop.
The other day, a Muslim in a neighborhood said the Taraba State Supreme Court judgment succeeded because both the President and Chief Justice of the Federation, who are both Muslims simply allowed it, otherwise Governor Darius would never have won.
That statement started a hot argument between the Muslims and the Christians present. It almost degenerated into a heavy fight. That was very unnecessary.
Topics that can start an argument
Apart from political issues like this, other topics that can start an argument include:
- Religion: Claims that one religion is more superior than others.
- Gender equality: Claims that women should have equal rights with men.
- Tribalism: Claims that one tribe is more superior or less superior than others.
- Resources control – Claims that a particular group of people should control state resources more than others.
- Leadership: Claims that people of one religion or ethnic group should perpetually rule others.
- Family: Negative comments about any member of one’s family.
- Freedom of speech: Claims that freedom of speech gives people right to use hate speech or say anything they like on others.
- Same sex: Comments that same sex should be legalized.
- Land issues: Claims that fulani Herdsmen should be allowed to graze people’s farms or certain groups should own and control land.
- Abortion: Whether abortion should be legalised or not.
- Circumcision: Comments about whether girls should be circumcised or not.
- Taxation : Comments about whether tax should be paid or not.
- Ancestors: Negative comments about one’s ancestors.
- Electricity Tariff: Comments about whether electricity tariff should be increased or not.
- The existence of God: Comments about whether God actually exists or not.
How to make informed arguments
Wouldn’t it be a relief if there was a way to end an argument more effectively, bringing the two of you towards a common ground?
Let’s explore how to make informed arguments and ending it more effectively using these four steps:
1) Be a good listener
- Be a good listener. Pay attention to the other person and don’t start talking when the other person is still talking.
- Ask. Re-say their argument in your own words and ask them if that is what they mean.
- Validate. Focus on the parts of the other person’s argument that are legitimate and that you can relate to. Spotting one or two good things about their argument will make them like you and want to listen to your side of the argument.
- Join. Agree with some parts of their argument and let them know the parts you agree with, showing them that maintaining relationship is better than their differences.
How to Resolve the Above Argument
After the Muslim youth made the statement above that if not that the President and Chief Justice of the Federation allowed Supreme Court to pass judgement, Taraba Governor shouldn’t have won; the Christians should have said they quite agree, especially for the fact that Supreme Court is the final judgment and Sen. Aisha and President share the same religion and party.
This would have made the Muslim youth who made the statement feel like a hero.
The Christians could now go on to say….but don’t you think the Supreme Court would have been bastardized if they passed a different judgment from that of Benue, Kebbi and other states and a different case in Taraba since the cases were similar?
This could have ended the argument maturely and both sides would have parted more friendly and more educated.
Next time, when there is an argument on any of the above issues first listen carefully, next, ask your opponent what he said to make sure you are on the same page, then look for good points in the other person’s argument and agree with it then finally, give your own part. This will stop argument in Taraba and make it a better place for all of us.
Don’t you think so?